Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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