We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
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you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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