Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
