I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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