I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
