I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
