this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize