I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think my moral compass just broke
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