So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
