thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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