Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
