Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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(318): View more from Louisiana

There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

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(646): View more from New York

Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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(925): View more from California

dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup

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(317): View more from Indiana

when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out

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