Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
