Nicole vs. Life
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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