What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
