halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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