At least make sure they are 18
Why
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
