just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize