It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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