you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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