I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
