I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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