i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
