You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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