Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
