he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
