Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
