I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
