I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
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Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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