Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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