Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize