I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize