I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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