i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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