Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
