did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
