i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm like, not good at living.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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