I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
