Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
