Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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