he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
