You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
