Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you had me at cake vodka
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
