hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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