I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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