they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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