I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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