she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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