booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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