My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
