Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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