Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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