love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
