Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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