just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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