I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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