Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
