I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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