Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize