: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
