its not stalking. its research.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
